Watch this space!

Sometime in the near future Peter will be attempting to move the oak gazebo from the paddock to somewhere else. Now that means getting through a gate - amongst other hazards! He was going to remove the gate, posts and things but I thought there might be a way of avoiding that. This could get interesting, Watch this ..er... space!

I meant to write a ghost story

Yesterday evening there was this amazing sky.

Today I thought I'd sit in the paddock and start writing a ghost story I had had a nice idea for. Just I sat down there was this quacking noise.

Then a rustling in the bushes just behind the pond.

Shortly afterwards, three neighbours and a cat came across and that was that really.

Many Happy Returns

The Prisoner nearly appeared in The Village on Sunday 29 July as the paddock was the scene for a splendid party. I made an attempt at dressing up which sort of worked and certainly blended well with No 53, otherwise known as Adrian, who also has actually met and quite resembles the chap who played No 53 in the TV series. We had several large white balloons which spent most of the day in the air looking fabulous and rather more friendly than Rover in the series. A couple of balloons did occasionally land in the pond which required a combination of fishing and acrobatics by Katie and Russell before the coots living there became too concerned.

The scene was captured by Richard in the photos shown here, none of which have required any adjustment, straightening or editing at all which just shows how good he is. (Just as soon as I get some from another guest that include him then I'll add some of the good fellow to that album!)

Graeme made a splendid job of producing large volumes of sausage, burger, kebab, chicken, steak and variations on that theme not just for lunch but also firing up the barbecue again in the evening for seconds all round.

As if rehearsing for the forthcoming Paddock Party 8, Penny, Maggie, Sarahs B and D, Sue and Kathie came armed with wonderful bowls of potatoes, prawns, salmon, salads, home-made bread and desserts galore including some particularly fine pineapple, orange meringue pavlova and chocolate cake. Now most of the words in that sentence are in the wrong order but they'll know who did what. In addition, Katie came from the West and William from the far far North, commonly called Scotland, carrying yet more food and Bryony, Kirri and Matti helped entertain everyone by running around quite a lot and looking cool or, in Matti's case, quite wet, for some time. Steven, Karl, Stuart, Mark and another Steve joined in the celebrations, usually with a glass in hand, and represented that dependable bunch of men that you like to have around should a gazebo suddenly blow away or a bottle need opening.

Other guests, including Amy, relieved neither to have had to bring her piano into the paddock or even perform on her clarinet, also helped us devour some of the food that Graeme was still cooking in large volumes.

Kirri had spent most of the night before transferring 200 music tracks I had selected for the party to an iPod which played continuously for 11 hours on Graeme's super BOSE device which few realised until the next day had, in fact, been running on battery power throughout. Despite my printing some quite incorrect track lists the choices went down really well and my rather strange mixture from seven decades worked well.

A huge downpour sent us all running for shelter in the early afternoon. My umbrella totally gave up and we just got used to getting wet for a while. Remarkably, the rain stopped after half an hour or so and the sun reappeared and dried off the grass and furniture in time for us to sit down and eat and then play an approximation to cricket. William had never experienced cricket before and, to be honest, still hasn't as he was out first ball! A friend of Amy's called Joe hadn't warned us beforehand that he was someone the England team may well want to call up before long and his second shot soared over a far away fence. We were about to toss Matti over the fence to recover the lost ball but another was found so the match continued and ended with a win for one of the sides, probably the Outsiders, but no-one was entirely sure quite when.

Adrian delivered a speech and reminded everyone how old I was and thankfully steered clear of most of the topics I was worried he might have amused people with. More than that, though, he delivered a brilliant present in the form of a day with a Caterham 7 car which he and I will fly around the country with some time soon. This is a truly splendid idea and we should be able to provide yet more great memories for the village and friends when we bring it this way.

I rambled on a bit after that and I do hope that I remembered to thank everyone but, if I did miss anyone or anything out, then let me say once again - thank you all.

As the sun set and the moon rose, logs burned contentedly in a battered old chimera. Sparklers scattered stars across the sky and two big white balloons had survived, one being thrown into the air at intervals by Matti and Kirri and friends to confuse anyone who happened to look out of their windows in our direction. There was port and more cheese than the parson preached about and no-one should have left hungry. I finally got a chance to open more presents and cards. Oh, did I not mention it was my birthday?

Bank Holiday Races

A large lamb just appeared at my front door. That made for an entertaining Bank Holiday late afternoon's exercise and 'planning'. I have no idea how she got out of the field but it certainly wasn't via the fence round the paddock that we spent a lot of time an effort fixing regularly when the lambs were younger. Rather than risk her belting off down the road, though, and frightening some poor old couple on an afternoon jaunt or eating more neighbours' daffodils than might be good for her, I decided that the best bet was to persuade her to go into the paddock where I could figure out what to do next.

That bit was relatively easy, although I do wish I had closed the door to the geese's quarters first. However, once out of there it seemed a fairly simple task to get her to head for the place where there used to be a gap in the paddock fence. Armed with some tools, I reopened the place which I thought she might have remembered and hoped she might find it on her own, especially with all her family's bleating noises coming from vaguely that direction.

No, she was far more determined to return whence she came. Must be a memory thing - short-term excellent but recalling escape routes from March lousy. I know how she feels. After several races back and forth she did finally get in the right direction and I was about the head her down the funnel towards the newly opened gap when the farmer arrives! One look at him and she shoots off again in completely the wrong direction and proceeds to chase the geese back into their quarters and then out again almost as it she was enjoying the game. Her mistake, though was to return once more to the empty geese quarters where the farmer was able to pick her up bodily and cart her back home. I swear she was smiling at me as she went off!

"Raise your glasses, please..." (but I have to find mine first)

Now this really isn't a good place to lose my glasses. It was all this fellow's fault . . .

With a few of his friends this lamb had clambered over a stream, a fence and some obstacles put in their way after they'd got into the paddock last week. The Chairman being away with Stationmaster Steve at Towcester Beer Festival raising another pair of glasses, I thought I'd better do something like persuade the invaders to return to their own field, especially bearing in mind that it was a beer festival and neither would be able to focus any better than I could without my glasses on their return.

So I put my glasses in my top pocket and set about creating some new obstacles for the sheep to negotiate. At some point in this activity the glasses must have fallen out of my pocket. "Damn!" I distinctly remembering saying to myself, followed by "Oh well, nothing for it but comb the area." Being pretty light I'd hoped that they would be easy to spot perched on a thistle or atop a bunch of sticky-willy. After an unsuccessful first survey, during which I began to doubt whether I would actually recognise them even if I did see them, I had to start at one end of the area and, on hands and knees, do an intensive search. I had never realised quite how much stuff there is beneath other stuff in what just looks like grass and some plants and weeds. Piles of scrabbled-up weeds and plants and ivy and more sticky-willy and brambles (ouch) and nettles (still tingling as I write) grew up and I was beginning to wonder whether I would finish up having to search through them again so daredn't chuck them away either.

At one point I was thinking that a jackdaw or magpie could have whizzed down and nicked them when I wasn't looking or that perhaps one of the invading sheep was now wearing them and had hoofed it off into the adjoining field with the things. Then, after about an hour's unplanned weeding, my mind beginning to wonder whether there'd be a shop open to get a pair from and whether I'd be able to get by with some standard reading glasses, there they were. "Yippee!!" I shouted and felt a really big smile coming on and a huge sense of achievement. It was one of those things that you just want to tell everyone about. Only those who've ever lost something in a ridiculously difficult place to find it again but did find it will appreciate any of this but now I have done and maybe you will.

And congratulations and very best wishes to William and Catherine too. So pleased it all went well and even the weather was kind.

Nice version with RED action points available for printing or viewing at this link.

Where in the Village? photos now at links on the right >>

Minutes of the 868th meeting of the Paddock Party Committee
Held at Hibiscus House on Satuday 17 July 2010, supposedly at 6:30pm but some people arrived nearer 7:30pm due to mental exhaustion after figuring out Cold Higham dingbats or because their sausages weren’t ready any earlier.
Present
Graeme in the chair
Maggie on the bench
Penny on the hot plate
Richard on the Barbie[i].
Sarah on the look-out
StationmasterSteve off the rails[ii]
Sue up right
Mark[iii] laid back
Kathie on the vegetables
Minutes Secretary on the phone
Apologies
Various reasons were proffered for the absence of the Cold Higham Pair[iv]<.	All members to reassure SB that we think she is really lovely and miss her greatly and make arrangements to drag her and AP, kicking and screaming if necessary, to the next meeting.
1.       Adrian was still struggling with Sarah who was struggling with her essay and Adrian
2.       There was a Cauldroneers gathering in Cold Higham at which Sarah was being initiated and Adrian was likely to be debriefed
3.       Following an exhausting afternoon at the Cauldroneers’ Fete earlier that same day at which Adrian’s father had insisted on taking over the Make Children Cry With A Scary Face stand, Adrian had felt it necessary to explain to all the parents that remarks that they all needed a good spanking might have been taken out of context and, indeed, it hadn’t done him any harm. They had agreed to let matters, other than either of the Mr Pinckards’ trousers, drop in exchange for being entertained with Bament beverages and hence were far too pissed to contribute meaningfully to discussions of a Paddock nature, especially erections which would be quite out of the question for several evenings.
4.       None of the above
Minutes of the previous meeting
It was noted that action points had indeed been included but the matter of members actually reading the damn things still remained a slight encumbrance to procedures. The Chairman asked whether the action points might be red next time. The Minutes Secretary pointed out that this might make then make them redaction points which could have the effect of making them totally indecipherable but agreed to see what better system of highlighting he could come up with.	AH to make better action points (again)
The Chairman then proceeded to read at great speed those he had spotted in what could be described as an Executive Summary. Mark attempted to show that he had some knowledge of business procedures and mumbled about using a table and having little notes to the right of the minutes before returning to an almost horizontal position on the special outdoor seat Richard had constructed which resulted in an unfortunately frank view up his shorts for those sitting opposite.  Kathie and the Minutes Secretary were, however, the only members affected and neither seemed particularly perturbed.
All the action points had, he declared with relish, been dealt with - with the exception of one. Wheeling round to his right he peered over his glasses at Sue who peered over hers back. One of those exceptional moments of almost complete silence occurred as even Richard’s sausage seemed short of a sizzle for a split second before “Sue to confirm chapel tables and chairs” boomed from an inch or two below the Chairman’s glasses. This was followed by what can only be described as a wail from Sue who would have probably leapt up and done so immediately had the said chapel not been closed for business at the time.	SH, for the 4th time of asking, to arrange for Chapel furniture to be available
Stationmaster Steve remarked that there had been some special offers of big tents but that the dimensions of 6m by 9m were not as big in the context of what we had already.
The Committee were reminded that the Chairman and Maggie had also not exactly dealt with their own action point (which the Chairman had either not mentioned or read so quickly that no-one had noticed it). This concerned the taking of some pictures around the area of scenes or things and then putting them on display with some sort of competition to guess where they were taken.	GF, MF, AP and AH to take some snaps around and about and plan the competition
The action point requiring Richard to remind Penny that she shouldn’t spend all week preparing for the event led to Penny making a gesture at the Minutes Secretary with two fingers. This might have resulted in some distress for the Minutes Secretary who had only really been trying to ensure she had a more relaxing time between now and the Big Day but the announcement that another member was getting hungry meant that she had to whizz off to attend to some sausages as the concept of anyone, not even a vegan with nut and pulse and root veg allergy, going hungry on the Annis premises was totally unthinkable.	AH not to make any reference to RA not being able to see the kitchen for a week again

Numbers
Penny& Richard  6	KC to make renewed effort to get money out of Shoemaker Close and all to get money to GF and any changes in numbers asap GF to confirm numbers for pig
Kathie         20
Andrew      10
Sarah & SteveD       9
SarahB & Adrian    10
Graeme & Maggie  70
Although these only added up to 125 it was expected that the final tally would be around 160.
Music
All was looking good, despite the quintet possibly now being a quartet. Rocky would be likely to be Rocky Matt and another. Amy was happy to do her intro and a spot or two during the event. There might also be one or two late additions to the list of musicians to entertain us but these were not yet certain.	GF to check licence received
Graeme would check that all the stage boards were still around and that Peter hadn’t used them on some project or set fire to them in a recent clear-out.	AH to advise if any other performers likely
Shopping
There was great enthusiasm as the saladettes listed what they’d be providing, namely Caesar, carrot & kidney beans, beetroot & yoghurt, corn & black bean salsa and something that the Minutes Secretary has written down but can’t now read which looks like woolly but surely can’t be.
A head of lettuce, roasted vegetables, lime-dressed courgettes and watercress & grapefruit were also mentioned although not he was not entirely sure of the context.
Maggie would do pasta & tomatoes, rice and yet more courgettes. It seems that there is expected to be an abundance of courgettes this year and the Chairman warned everyone of the coming season of courgette & pest soup which should have been courgette & pesto soup although the former might be a change perhaps.
Kathie, Maggie and Sue would play the roles of saladettes with Penny as Chief Saladeer, a word which now seems to have been added to the UK dictionary on some laptops as a sign of eminent respectability, despite her occasional gesturing in the garden. They would invade the Cash & Carry emporium and get revenge on the chap at the entrance who gave them strange looks last year by dressing as Bunny Girls on Thursday 5th August. Stationmaster Steve and Mark seemed to pay more attention to proceedings at that point but only for a brief moment.	Saladettes on parade 5th August
All the necessary bits and pieces would be bought from the kitty which was now beginning to grow into a positive figure with contributions from members’ ticket sales. The Chairman did urge everyone to ensure that they did have enough tickets as he and the Minutes Secretary had gone to a huge amount of trouble printing and cutting the damn things up.
Kathie seemed to think that she had only had 19 but as they were distributed in pairs this was pretty unlikely. She would investigate as it may be that her entrepreneurial (not a word often encountered in the Minutes) son may have nicked one to sell on the Black Market, Ebay or wherever people sold things at highly inflated costs these days. The Committee didn’t agree that he could park his Aston Martin in the paddock that day and he would have to find a convenient verge like everyone else.
Penny announced that those who weren’t participating in the shopping trip should be informed in good time so that they could add their requests to the list.	Saladettes to contact SB and SD re shopping list
Drink
The Chairman had ordered 2 barrels on Frog Island ale. One called “Shoemaker” and “The Other One”.
Layout
Kathie had a series of photos which would remind the Committee of where they’d put tents last year and an effort would be made to reproduce the layout which everyone thought had worked well. If she was unable to unearth those photos then the Minutes Secretary and Adrian had some that they’d taken before guests got in the way.	KC to find photos and show AH or GF
Graeme suddenly realised that he had forgotten to check the scout tent was still there and would do so pdq.	GF to check scout tent
Kathie undertook to find some table covers and advise if they needed to acquire any more.	KC to check table covers
Sue would dig out last year’s table displays and do the honours in that respect, probably renewing some of the flowers too.
SarahD had boxes of plates and plastic bits and pieces, mostly in extraordinarily bright colours in her loft. It was suggested that this might not be the best place for them as she would be away until the day itself. She agreed to get Stationmaster Steve to deliver them within the following week which Maggie could then keep in the shed with a large sign declaring that they were not to be used for any installation or ‘tidied up’ by Peter in the meantime.
Raffle
Kathie had agreed to do the hamper at the last meeting but The Absent SarahB had indicated to SarahD that she was in the process of doing one. No-one was quite sure what to do about that but unless SarahB had actually put the whole shooting match together it seemed sensible for Kathie to carry on and to include anything that SarahB had accumulated. Presumably they could have a chat about that and take it from there.	KC to liaise with SB re hamper production
The hamper, or maybe even hampers now, would be the main raffle prize. There would be donations of bottles which would be second and third prizes and, unless something else came along at the last minute, it was hoped that the prize announcement bit would be nice and short like last year.
The Chairman confirmed that the Rugby Group Development Fund trustees had agreed once again to match the funds raised from the event. This was much appreciated and made the whole thing really worthwhile. He would also attempt to get some publicity leaflets and stuff from the W&N Air Ambulance people so that this was available for guests to see where the funds would be going.
Any Other Business
There then followed some quite exceptional servings of bangers and mash. Being a Paddock Party Committee meeting, of course, these were not just bangers, nor was the mash just mash. This was PPC Bangers & Mash with a range of sausages, all cooked to perfection (even those hurriedly done in the pan by the Minutes Secretary immediately before arrival) and with labels declaring what may or may not be contained within the crisp brown skins. Well, the labels might have been legible had they not been left on the barbecue but it was a good idea nonetheless. The sausages were accompanied by a choice of traditionally squashed and bashed potatoes topped with cheese or not-really-mashed-at-all potatoes with broccoli (I think) and doubtless other interesting flavouring which was a fascinating variation on ‘mash’ and encouraging to all of us who occasionally get fed up with pushing the old masher thing up and down and serve up lumpy mash.
Stationmaster Steve, who had been strangely quiet for most of the proceedings was most taken by the potato dishes, however and wanted to share with members how heat and kinetic energy can both burst the walls of the starch grains in the potato, releasing amylose, which traps water, imparting an undesired "gluey" consistency in the same way that starch adds thickness to foods such as gravy and custard. To avoid this, he said, potatoes must not be cooked at a high temperature for too long. Whole or chunked potatoes receive considerably more heat on the outside by the time enough heat penetrates to cook the centre, overcooking the outside; thinly slicing the potatoes allows a consistent amount of heat throughout. Heston Blumenthal recommends cooking the sliced potatoes for 40 minutes at a controlled temperature of 70°C. To avoid the need for temperature control, the sliced potatoes can be boiled until just cooked (10 to 12 minutes), testing constantly. America's Test Kitchen recommends rinsing potatoes halfway through cooking to remove excess amylose, and pressing potatoes through a potato ricer to avoid unnecessary agitation of the starch grains. If a food processor or similar is used for mashing, it will mechanically break the starch grains, releasing amylose and giving an unpleasant gluey consistency. Potatoes are best mashed before adding butter, etc., as the butter or liquid lubricates the lumps of potato, making them more difficult to break up. They are, however, an excellent source of dietary fibre, he added, before taking another mouthful.
Both dishes were masterpieces and to have such limited choice at the Annis Emporium was most rare but, in this instance, thoroughly appreciated. Seconds and even thirds were consumed with large helpings of port, approved by Stationmaster Steve as LBV.
The evening was also marked by the arrival of a Top Gear Chocolate cake and the rendition of a familiar tune to celebrate the Minutes Secretary’s forthcoming birthday. He agreed to take it away and deliver chunks to members in a while, if there was any left after children had spotted it.	AH to distribute cake
Date of next meeting
Thursday 5 August – all able-bodied men on parade for de-pooing, grass-cutting, wood-chopping and erection and electrical equipment-checking. Will decide then whether to do tents then or Friday.	Available bodies to paddock on Thursday

---

^[i] that should be ‘barbie’ as in barbecue. I blame AutoCorrect.

^[ii] the extension to the Astcote line has hit a few snags so may not be operational until after the event and the children’s rides idea will have to be cancelled

^[iii] a new guy who followed Sue to the meeting but seemed a nice chap so we carried on regardless

^[iv] Commonly known as Adrian and SarahB, previously referred to as ‘them two from No.5’, parents of Jet

Entry form for the 'Where in The Village?' competition.

865th Meeting of the Paddock Party Committee

Also available as for download and scribbling all over with groovy action points at this link.

Held at Astcote High Street Station 2pm, Sunday 13 June 2010

Present:
Graeme (Chairman), Maggie, Steve, SarahD, Kathie, Amy, Richard, Penny, Sue, Andrew (Minutes Secretary)
Apologies:
Members were informed that SarahB is still writing an essay which has now become such a vast and authoritative tome that Adrian had been lassoed on his way out in order to assist with what all students seem to want to do, namely place each sheet in a ruddy plastic wallet, much to the later annoyance of tutors who moan like mad at having to extract every sheet in order to correct them. Members were divided on the subject of this remarkable three month effort, the majority concluding that it was The Life And Times Of A Garden Gnome. Steve quietly hoped that she wouldn’t insist on grabbing the microphone and reading it out at the party. The Minutes Secretary had serious doubts about whether she would have completed it by then.

Minutes of the previous meeting
These were approved after Maggie had run across the road to check the dog. Richard disappeared to get some port which prompted Stationmaster Steve to explain that Late Bottled Vintage, like Vintage Port, is a wine of a single year but it is not a “declared” Vintage Port. Whereas Vintage Port spends only two years in casks and then matures in bottle, LBV is aged in casks and then bottled with a light filtration at between four and six years old. At the time of bottling it has completed its maturation and is ready for drinking without the need for decanting.

The Chairman asked whether the Minutes Secretary could add action points to them. Seeing the expression on the latter member’s face, he added that it probably wouldn’t be necessary to add action points to all the previous minutes, just from here forward. The Minutes Secretary looked quite relieved.

Date and time
7 August, 6:30pm as last year

Chairs and tables
Cold Higham would be supplying a good quantity which Peter would collect. Sue was reminded yet again that she needed to check whether the Methodist Church furniture was available. Not the pews, though, and she should ensure the items we removed were not in use at the time.

Tickets
Adrian and the Minutes Secretary had spent a great deal of time viewing images on the internet but needed to check a few more before selecting those that were likely to be appropriate. Bearing in mind that there would be children present and some guests shouldn’t be subjected to sudden shock the Minutes Secretary agreed to advise Adrian that none of the predominantly pink images he had come up with were likely to be approved, even allowing for the close and lengthy consideration that Richard and Stationmaster Steve seemed willing to give to them. It was agreed that a range of samples with a PG certificate would be supplied to the Chairman by 22 June (which by sheer chance happens to be the date today and I’ve just e-mailed them to him).

Licence
The Chairman admitted to having completely forgotten about requesting a licence from the local Council in order that music can be played. Kathie said that if he didn’t get it in time then everyone had an iPod these days and so they could listen to their own. Penny pointed out, though, that no-one would then be able to hear SarahB screeching “Aretha! We must have some Aretha!” Richard assured her that SarahB would not be ignored, especially if she were hurtling towards an unsuspecting Minutes Secretary at the time as would be her wont and steps would be taken to avoid a collision.

Tents
Members agreed to keep an eye out for any special offer tents. Whilst it was believed that the one held together with duck tape and with a pole up one of its tubes would serve another event without enveloping guests below during the evening, should any of them experience a sudden and massive gust of wind from an unfortunate angle then disaster might strike and it was good to be prepared.

Raffle
Kathie kindly agreed to make a hamper for the main raffle prize this year. She reckoned that she had a suitable basket and Sue would give her some ideas as to what to put in it.

It was agreed that, in return for hampering, Kathie and her family would be provided with free tickets.

Ticket sales
The Chairman then broached the thorny subject of who would cover which areas to get tickets out to the people to be invited. Traditionally, he reminded members, the Paddock Party invitations were offered to Shoemaker Close residents, even if we didn’t know them particularly well, because we were likely to keep them awake and were, after all, conducting the whole thing either on the other side of their fences or within a stone’s throw of their TVs which could be quite a nuisance, especially once guests had had a few beers or glasses of wine and for more reasons than one.

Kathie agreed to do Shoemaker Close in its entirety
SarahD and Stationmaster Steve would do School Road and Suttons Walk
Penny would do next door, Suzanne up there and invite her line dancing friends
SarahB, would do the Cold Higham mob, or Adrian if she hadn’t finished her essay
Maggie & Graeme would attend to Pattishall friends and all stations East

Tickets would be distributed just as soon as Adrian and the Minutes Secretary got their act together and produced the damn things and the Chairman would ask for an update on sales at regular intervals.
Committee members could invite as many of their own friends as they wished but we did need to know numbers to ensure the pig was the right size.

Music
The jazz quartet, Matt and Grace and Amy were confirmed as performing. Amy would do a welcoming intro on Graeme’s keyboard. She had indicated coyly that she would prefer not to play on his organ but the Chairman insisted that it was a piano that he would make available.

The Rock School had not been asked to perform.

In addition to the live acts we should also have some groovy tracks available, not just to satisfy SarahB’s Arethaic demands but also to have something to play as and when there were breaks and probably later when the performers were likely to be suffering from an excess of alcohol and liable to render versions of numbers that a mathematician might be inclined to describe as imaginary.

Food
Penny would take the role once again of Chief Saladeer with Sue, Sarahs D and B, Kathie and Maggie as individual saladeers under her command. A request should be made to anyone offering to bring food that they bring salads rather than puddings as the saladeers took the view that there’d be more than enough excellent desserts being provided.

Penny would arrange a shopping trip at an opportune moment to ensure all the appropriate goodies and gallon tubs of salad cream and mayonnaise were purchased. Stationmaster Steve reminded the Committee that he had six drums of each in his garage already but they may be past their ‘use by’ dates. He was finding the salad cream, in particular the Crosse & Blackwell one, to be an excellent lubricant for his train. The Aldi variety was nothing like as effective, though, but had great binding properties for the gravel on the new slopes he had been building for the Eastern extension.

Any other business
Sue would produce candles and flowers to add a touch of class to the formica-topped tables. Everyone agreed that she always made a splendid job of these and it was fun watching people trying to figure out why they didn’t fall over when tables were wobbled.

The Minutes Secretary would produce a range of signs as usual. Any special requests to him as he always seems to be doing them a few minutes before people arrive and there’s nothing more embarrassing than bending over to hammer in a sign that reads ‘Please put your forks in here’

A slide show projected onto Kathie’s wall or the side of the food tent was agreed to be something that we should try this year. Shows at early Paddock Parties had been a popular distraction and the format of the evening, without a band at the end, might allow the show to be more effective as well as being seen without massive silhouettes of Tom and friends looming over them. The Minutes Secretary would see if he could acquire a decent projector and work with Adrian to set up something suitable.

The Chairman reminded members that we had agreed to have a quiz this year to keep people amused during the lighter hours. This would take the form of their attempting to identify images of things or views around the locality. He and Maggie had been taking pictures but others were welcome too and the Minutes Secretary offered to put the whole shooting match into some semblance of order and print the images and some answer sheets.

Date of next meeting
Sunday 18 July 2010 at Penny & Richard’s 3pm

861st Meeting of the Paddock Party Committee

[PDF version available for download here]

861st Meeting of the Paddock Party Committee

Held at the Fuller Residence 2pm, Monday 3^rd May 2010

Present:

Graeme (Chairman), Maggie, Adrian, Steve, SarahD, Kathie, Amy, Richard, Penny, Sue, Andrew

Apologies:

SarahB, apparently either swimming in a curious fashion or making a model of a monster, Adrian informing the Committee that she was doing a Nessie and couldn’t, therefore, be with us.

Minutes of the previous meeting

Running to over 50 odd, very odd, pages it was suggested that these were taken as read which, indeed, they were and had been, often to the bewilderment of various family friends over Christmas and New Year.

Date

It was confirmed that the 7^th event would take place on 7 August, hopefully a Saturday.

Time

Discussion of the time for the event to start was distracted when Penny and Richard realised that they hadn’t adjusted their watches since returning to the village from its antipodean twin in Woollybumma and were 9 hours ahead of themselves, possibly explaining why they were still in pyjamas. Stationmaster Steve took an early opportunity to mention that some members of the Committee may not have been aware that the National Library of Australia had on display an extract from a 1771 bill for dividing and inclosing the open and common fields, common meadows, common pastures, and other commonable lands and grounds within the parish and liberties of Pattishall with the hamlets of Eastcote, Astcote, and Darlescote, in the county of Northampton.

Once Penny and Richard had corrected themselves, apart from their hats, it was agreed that a 6:30pm start would be appropriate.

Format of event  

After the success of the previous six parties it was not exactly something that needed a great deal of discussion. However, some members did feel inclined to mention some possible additions for the amusement of guests, mostly including sheep. Richard announced that sheep wee a lot for some reason. This prompted Sue to recall playing Poohsticks and Penny to remark that she had had great trouble with Richard’s because it kept blowing off.

The Chairman muttered something to the effect that the effects of age upon the Committee members was beginning to become apparent and urged that we move on before dementure requires that the Minutes Secretary reads the minutes of the current meeting so far lest some forget that we’re merely on item 3.

Food

The pig was already ordered which prevented suggestions that we have a ewe roast instead. The usual queries about vegetarians were raised and the Committee reassured each other that there would be plenty of vegetables provided on the day. Sue remembered that we used to provide an alternative dish for those who didn’t like pork but agreed that everyone seemed more than happy with the food and, with all the other bits and pieces available in the tent, there would be plenty for everyone without needing any additional main course.

Drink

It was agreed that an abundant supply of Frog island would be supplied, this having been well appreciated last year. Adrian reminded members of Party 7s which set off fond memories amongst many of turning up at parties with the once ubiquitous yellow and red cans containing seven pints of beer. The Party 7 theme may be something worth thinking about for the PP7 tickets and promotional material. The Minutes Secretary said he might see if we could get some sponsorship or even free samples from Watneys. The Chairman said something about his being damn lucky as Watneys closed in 1979. He did, though, still have a Watneys red barrel keyring.

Stationmaster Steve decided to announce that he had had a Teacher of The Year Medal which momentarily stunned the members and discussion of drink and sheep halted. Even the corks on Richard’s hat seemed to be less animated than usual. “Congratulations” said someone and “Jolly good show” another. “You got an award?” boomed the Chairman, “who voted for you?!” Unfortunately, the Chairman was struck by wind towards the end of the phrase, resulting in some emphasis of the last word lending his genuine enquiry a somewhat different shade of meaning. Glasses were, though, duly raised in recognition of Stationmaster’s achievement and the Minutes Secretary reassured him that he wouldn’t forget to include this in the minutes.

Weather

“Something the Committee does need to consider . . .” started Stationmaster Steve.

“. . . INCLEMENT WEATHER!!!” sang everyone else except Amy who was too young to remember it ever raining at a Paddock Party.

“They’ll get wet.” boomed the Chairman.

Seating and tables

PP6 had seen a slightly expanded square formation of the tents in comparison to the close arrangement of PP5. Earlier events had seen tents thrown up in pretty random places and it was clear that the erection team were getting ever more organised but not to the point of getting their set squares and theodolites out. Sue and Kathie were quite interested in the men getting their theodolites out but accepted that erections were essentially in the hands of the men who turned up on the day.

Music

The Chairman was particularly keen to get his organ out. Adrian and the Minutes Secretary groaned, not at the old joke but at the memory of PP4 when they happened to be in the right place at the wrong time and were obliged to assist in heaving Graeme’s massive organ through gaps a mere few millimetres wider than it was and then across what seemed to be the ¼ mile trek from conservatory to paddock on a steamy August afternoon. Their expressions changed to delight akin to those of schoolboys who discover that there isn’t going to be a History test in period 2 after all and they were on the verge of dancing together had Archie not given them one of those looks that said he wouldn’t be having any of that queer stuff here.

In fact, it was a distinctly portable keyboard to which the Chairman was referring and Amy was enthusiastic about adding some performance with that to the evening.

She went on to agree that she could provide some music which could be playing as people arrive, something we haven’t had before, and agreed to be a nice new idea. Contact would be made with all who had performed previously, notably the Jazz Quartet, Gracie and her man, Matt and someone else who played guitar and is apparently called Rocky. Amy also reckoned that a covers band from the Towcester Rock School might be persuaded to join in.

Tickets

Adrian and the Minutes Secretary would produce the tickets again this year. Adrian had collected some sample designs from telephone kiosks around St Pancras Station in London on a recent visit which the two men decided to take a long hard look at one evening. The other information to be displayed would be largely the same as for last year which would save a lot of time checking how to spell the words. Largely was also an apt word for the way the price would increase this year, from £8 to £10 which was agreed on the basis that (a) 10 was a round number and (b) there would be no need to mess around with tins of coins for change at the gate. It was also the case that every year guests had been accosting members of the Committee demanding to know how on earth we managed to lay on such a great evening at the price. It was hoped that a 25% increase at a time of economic hardship might finally put a stop to such behaviour.

All profits from the event would go to WNAA, with the Rugby Cement Group kindly offering to match the profit, effectively doubling the dosh that could be contributed to the Air Ambulance cause.

Any other business

Penny informed the Committee that, despite having been on the other side of the planet, she had noticed that gazebos were on special offer at Homebase. There was some discussion about the condition of one of the large gazebos following it being blown half-way to Tiffield by winds prior to PP5. It had been repaired with yards of gaffer tape for PP6 and might just make it through PP7 but there was also a missing pole in the set for the other large one so perhaps, if Penny spots a suitable bargain, an addition to stock may be a good idea.

Other activities were considered, some clearly having been mused over for some time as little encouragement was needed for their airing.

The Minutes Secretary suggested bell-ringing which slightly worried most other members as it later did the Minutes Secretary himself who completely failed to understand why on earth he had suggested it.

Sarah D suggested the far more sensible Know Your Parish which would involve a number of pictures of local things being stuck up around the tents and gazebos. Adrian said that we had tried that with last year’s rasterbated images of Committee members which had proved fascinating and caused several guests to bump into each other when walking backwards to attempt to figure out who was who which in turn resulted in several new relationships developing. Sarah D advised that by ‘local things’ she hadn’t actually meant Committee members. The idea, though, was approved and Adrian and the Minutes Secretary instructed to go forth with their cameras and snap odd things before the next meeting so that the Committee could have a look at what they’d got. Adrian made another attempt to get out his telephone box cards on the grounds that the Minutes Secretary might need something to remind him when he was recollecting the discussion.

Whilst Sarah B wasn’t there in person there was a distinct sense of her being nevertheless being in the room and Adrian hurriedly stuffed the errant items back in his pocket, looking around nervously and occasionally up and the ceiling which wasn’t what Committee members did very often, the only memorable other occasion being Stationmaster Steve’s struggling ladybird impression from the very early years of Paddock Party business.

Displaying the images would require yet another erection of some sort for which young Peter Fuller’s wonderful carpentry expertise would be called upon by Maggie when she next sees him and remembers (the two not necessarily being coincident).

Date of next meeting

13 June 2010 at Steve & Sarah D’s 2pm               

Christmas release by The Animals

Minutes of the 802nd meeting of the Paddock Party Committee

Held at several venues in or not far from the paddock on 8th 9th and probably 10th August, at various times when sufficient members were in the same place at the same time.

Present
Graeme, chairman, tractor and trailer driver, charred accountant, iPod & beer advisor
Maggie, diary, hostess, trolley and plastic box management
Penny, chief saladeer, beachware and food jettison advisor
Richard, senior photographer and advisor on steroids,
Sarah D, mother of the band and cutlery accountant
Steve, father of the band and dim view weather consultant
Kathie, additional seating and potato supplies
Sue, floral display and assistant social secretary
Minutes Secretary, plate miscounter and dotty image scribe
Sarah B, social secretary and cheersleader
and Adrian, quick flash and production manager

Apologies
Only for occasional wind

Minutes of the previous meeting
There had, of course been the AGM on 8 August itself and several meetings thereafter but few of the members stood or sat still for long enough for any purposeful decisions other than which plastic container should be used for what and which pole might have fitted better where. These, therefore, are as best a recollection of matters covered whilst transporting chimerae or having one’s chestnuts roasted whilst munching through the large piles of pork and desserts remaining.

Tickets
The Chairman had managed to knock a draft set of accounts together and circulated a table of figures. Unfortunately it was not easy to read these by moonlight so he took a good guess at what he’d written and informed the group that there had been a little over 170 in attendance.

The net profit from the event appeared to be of the order of £500. In addition a specific donation of £100 had been received for the WNAA. It is expected that the Rugby Group Benevolent Fund will be agree to repeat earlier years’ doubling of funds raised with the result being a possible final donation of £1200, divided £500 to PDSA and £700 WNAA.

It was agreed that this represented a quite remarkable figure, achieved through both the increased ticket price and raffle success, as attached figures show.

How was it for us, darlings?
Another jolly good show in all respects, in short.

Food
ALDI got several mentions in between swishes with the J cloths and one or two members felt that stronger plates might be required to support any further editions of Penny’s quintuple chocolate concoction which, we gathered, possibly cost as much by way of ingredients as a modest gazebo.

Steve reported a near miss when attempting to stab an incalcitrant slice of pastry and the plastic fork shot through the dish and into whichever part of his anatomy lurked immediately below. Suggestions that metal forks be provided that had been mooted previously were not further discussed.

The hog was very tasty and gave off a suitable aroma at the outset. The Minutes Secretary had specifically wandered around the drive at 6:30 to test this and reported that the sniffometer levels were in good shape and the roast indeed hog-like. The Chairman commented that it had been cracking good crackling.

Drink
The two barrels of Frog Island had proved a wise decision, if only to ensure that there had been a reasonable supply rather than mere dregs for the meeting the following day. The Chairman despatched Richard to check whether a second beaker-full could be drained from the keg.

Tents
Steve had tested the wind direction in the scout tent. Erections had been magnificent and virtually trouble-free. Nevertheless, Sue insisted that members be supervised next year and would be checking to see whether a set of instructions had been packed with the various packages as she preferred a more organised affair.

The positioning of a green auto-fold-up gazebo at the exit end of the scout tent had been a little unfortunate in that its cross members had made cross guests as they bashed their heads on them. The green covering disguised the metal beneath and what they might have anticipated as being a mere gentle brush of fabric across the follicles turned into a thud and scrape which, remarkably, seemed not to have caused any food to have been dropped nor casualties requiring medication. Many guests may have prepared by taking ample medication in advance but it was agreed that next year a higher, white gazebo would be positioned there.

There was some discussion of whether further funds should be retained for the purchase of another tent. It was decided, though, that the existing £50 was adequate and any further cost would be taken into account in the next event budget.

Some felt that the arrangement was almost too neat this year and there was a proposal that the layout be reversed so that the moon could be clearly visible. No conclusion was reached – something for another day, it was getting late by then.

Facilities
The loo was pretty much fully occupied for much of the later part of the evening, mainly as a result of the rapid process through the system of some of the desserts being accelerated by copious amounts of alcohol and some jumping up and down. Those who had stuck to the heavy chocolate seemed to be firmly wedged in their chairs and less inclined to attempt the long trek.

Andrew had assisted by escorting one or two people, most frequently Adrian, closely followed by Sarah, to the overflow facility in the cottage. Guidance was necessary, however, due to the internet cable being draped across the foot of the stairs and to divert attention away from the generally unkempt state of the Minutes Secretary’s accommodation, especially the pink pillow which he had really wished he’d changed beforehand as well as dusting some of the horizontal surfaces.

Electrics all worked well and Richard, Steve and Karl were duly thanked for their efforts again in keeping the flash lights burning.

Music
The jazz band were particularly good this year by common consent and seemed to play for such a long time without a drink that some members felt obliged to swing glasses of suitable lubricant in front of them to remind them that they did need to stop occasionally.

A couple of lads performed some pleasant ditties in a relaxed style and went down well.

The Outsiders cleared the field of the over 65s quite quickly then settled into a solid rendition of their greatest hits. The youngsters clearly enjoyed them and quite a few older members were seen to be tapping their toes, slapping thighs and mostly in time. Steve had provided a running commentary for anyone within earshot. There was little or no daddy dancing this year and neither Aretha nor Bruce emerged from the Chairman’s iPod selection.

Numbers
There were a goodly number in attendance, upwards of 170 but they seemed more sedentary and kind of organised this year so the numbers moving around the place were less and, apart from a few more tables and bales being a good idea next time, it wasn’t felt that any real issues were presented by the larger number.

The age mix appeared to be decidedly older this year, and that isn’t just because everyone is a year older. There were noticeably fewer under 25s, possibly due to Matt’s friends and several children not being there this year.

Gate
The Chairman and Minutes Secretary had managed the gate and relieved guests of as much money as possible and were pretty confident that no-one had got in without a ticket.

Signs
The Minutes Secretary had produced a range of signs, mostly telling people where to place their plates and cutlery, cans and bottles but had forgotten that it gets dark at night so most went unnoticed, as it were. However, aided and abetted by Adrian, several others offering useful advice and warnings to be heeded were constructed and, in particular some dotty images of the Committee were popular attractions. Well, certainly for the Committee members anxious to figure out who was who. Interestingly, all but the larger ones went missing after the event and it is possible that they are now being purveyed on eBay at vast prices. Pity we hadn’t signed them or they would have been worth even more.

Tidying up
The morning after the night before, extended as traditionally the case, to the morning, lunch and evening after the night before and the morning and lunch after the night before the night before, went smoothly with all bits and pieces swept up, washed up, packed up and the field restored to its former glory and ready for inspection by the geese.

The Minutes Secretary was under the impression that he had rinsed over 400 plates but appeared to be in a minority of one in debating the accuracy of his calculations. Nevertheless he did wish to point out that he probably had got as wet as he would have done if it had been 400 plates.

Raffle
Despite tickets being sold in almost entirely strips of 5 for £1, the Chairman reported that the raffle income had totalled £293.09, an odd sort of figure which would imply that someone had sold 45% of one ticket. The Minutes Secretary proposed that each Committee member contribute 1p to make up the missing 55% but an alternative proposal that they carry 9p forward to the next year was preferred.

A full breakdown of the draft figures is included as what is the very first ever Appendix to the Minutes.

Photos
Richard, and to a notably fuzzier or lesser extent, Adrian and the Minutes Secretary had taken snaps at various times and the results, including a remarkable pair featuring Adrian being attended to in the drinks tent, are now available on both the In The Village blog and the Minutes Secretary’s Facebook pages. Links: http://astcote.blogspot.com and http://facebook.com/andrewx respectively.

Next party
After consulting his diary, the Chairman decreed that 7 August 2010 be a good day for Paddock Party 7 and those present heartily backed the idea. His diary wondered whether anyone would like some pork as there was still rather a lot left.

Sue fancied the idea of dressing up which prompted a range of proposals for themes from the gentlemen present, none of which, however, were deemed entirely suitable for the event. She may well, though, be prepared to give some of them a whirl at a future meeting. Sarah B was quite taken with the vicar and Adrian was particularly keen on tarts.

Next meeting
Steve wondered whether we might have a good old-fashioned British food session in the near future. The Minutes Secretary would consult his mother to see whether she could be persuaded to knock up one of her excellent shepherd’s pies. Graeme’s diary was expert in the Beef Wellington department. Steve D and the Minutes Secretary both drooled helplessly at the mention of suet puddings and Penny said she would look up how to make a jam roly poly or a spotted dick.

Sue offered her premises for the next meeting, date and time to be advised.

 
Appendix
Event account summary over PP2-6