Was it Graeme?

The second picture above is the postcard that came with Gnome on his return. The first is a certain Mr Graeme Fuller, Chairman of the Astcote Village Paddock Committee and generally Good Sort. Now, it may just be me but there's a striking resemblance in the images . . .

Gnome's back!

Out of the blue - but very much in the pink (and yellow and red) - my gnome reappears this morning, laden with some nice flowers, blooming at -2 in a chilly November, and presents for the children! Amazing. Brilliant wheeze. Accompanying postcard reads: Have been spending some time with my brother in these lovely flowers, better than being stuck in a box by you're (sic) door. But I decided to come home. Hey ho back to the fir trees.

Still none the wiser but two new ideas have sprung to mind.

Hope to have The Answer soon! 

Just to confuse matters

Yes, that one was Adrian. But "The others ain't me, honest, gov!" that followed did seem very genuine.

Gnome news 5

Curiouser and curiouser, to use another blog name (that's a pretty boring one, though, nothing like this stuff!). It's Sunday. Had to go down to MK early. Freezing cold. Minus 2. Get back about 4:30pm. Everyone seems to have washed their cars. That's odd in itself. Normally just one person washing one car every day - see earlier posts. Anyway, stuffed in the letter box was a yellow glove - that I took as a typical Adrian gesture and a sign that he'd washed his car for the first time in a million days and was jolly pleased with himself.

Inside, however, on the carpet was another postcard. Brand spanking new and shiny like the last one but this was unsullied by having to go through the postal system. No address. No signature. Just Meet the family! in what immediately struck me as Adrian's writing. Picture was a load of gnomes.

Just has to be Adrian. Simply can't think of anyone else. Delivered personally by someone who must have known I was out or, at least, not watching the door.

Now to think of a way to get my own back!!

Gnome news 4

I'd just finished talking to Adrian again and trying to figure out who might be behind Gnome's adventures and along comes Posty with another! Now this time it's quite different in many ways. Posted 17 November but can't make out place. Picture of Civic Hall, Leeds. This one's dated for the first time too.

Reads: 16.11.05 Trying to get a Christmas job here in this beautiful city. G. Nome.

This one's beautifully written - quite different to others. Nice, clean new postcard too. Others were like ones that had been lying around a while.

This one had no ? after the postcode and back to No 3 address again.

Now, I'd only just mentioned handwriting to Adrian that morning so it wasn't his effort to put me off that scent. Doesn't look like his partner's writing either, although it does display distinct artistic talent. So, even more intriguing. Still reckon he's behind it, though. There's just no-one else who (a) knows my name (b) could guess that post code (c) known to use Gerald and Sebastian in the past and, most crucially, (d) could care enough to be bothered about amusing / intriguing me.

Still need that firm clincher, though.

Gnome news 3

Yet another postcard, after a slightly worrying delay. Posted in Cheshire 13 November. Reads This is my friend Sebastian seal, who saved me from drowning in the sea. Lovely weather. Hi ho, Hi ho! G Nome.

Picture of a seal in the water (Athena poster type by the look of it)

Now this one was sent to No 4 but details otherwise accurate and same ? postcode. Fortunately the old dear at No 4 passed it to me in good time.

Not a lot I can learn from this one. The 4 error may just be to throw me off the scent as I have been pretty strongly saying I reckon it's No 5.

Showed Adrian all three and he did seem very convincing in saying it wasn't him. But if it isn't then it's a tricky one. Someone at work says there's a Gnome Protection League or similar who start off with friendly cards which turn nasty. I don't go for that on this one. The reference to coming back for Christmas rules them out at present and any 'league' wouldn't know my name.

I'm well hooked. Congrats to whoever. Can't wait for the next one!

Gnome news 2

Another postcard! Weird Moebus band picture by Escher. Postmark Chester N Wales, which is amusing in itself. Text: Have had a few days in the woods* with the fairies!!! Will be back in time for - - - - (arrow to old Christmas stamp) G.Nome
*Have been bitten by these gaint (sic) ants. ouch.

Hmm. Interesting. Same address and ? postcode. Sent 8 November. Showed Sarah at No 5, partner of prime suspect. She immediately recognised the design but then she probably would so no obvious conclusion. She didn't think it was Adrian's writing. Seemed genuinely not to know.

Still reckon it's right up Adrian's street though.

Gnome news

Just as I'd thought Gnome had disappeared and was a bit sad about it, and beginning to plan some unpleasant revenge but short of evidence as to whom to exact the said unpleasantries upon, I get this postcard. Sad pic of Stoke Bruerne Canal Museum. Message: I have been asked to address "The" Gnome Convention" subject The Cruelty of Gnomes by Humans! See you soon. Gerald Nome.

Immediately banged off an e-mail to the most likely culprit (No 5) rejoicing at the fact that Gnome's (I'd never call anyone Gerald) OK and well done that was a good wheeze sort of stuff.

No 5 professed complete innocence - and credibly too. So who? Postcard was postmarked Leicestershire, 3 November. Pretty sure neither at No 5 had been away but I guess they could have send it to a friend there. Card was addressed to me, accurate address but postcode had a ? Now not many people would know my name and not many would guess that postcode. They'd either look it up and get it right or guess more wildly. One of the No 5's has a strong connection with Stoke Bruerne - brother runs the Children's Farm and she does art classes there. They'd know their postcode and so could have taken a guess at mine. The other No 5 has used the name Gerald on a joke business card too. So, No 5 still No. 1 suspect. Actually quite fun.

Last known whereabouts of Gnome

There once stood a Gnome here. Known for wandering off from time to time and appearing in other parts of the Hill estate - but never straying onto other people's property - and always showing a cheery face. OK, so he was outside all the time and it's getting pretty chilly at night, but that's normal for a gnome. What wasn't quite so normal was the tendency for him to be supplied with beer and fags by neighbours and I reckon he was pretty chuffed with the Hallowe'en mask Adrian gave him in late October. He rather reflected life here in many ways, and on 1 November when the occupants of No 5 were being seranaded by a wardrobe salesman, he got dressed up in a cardboard box to show that he knew about fitted wardrobes. That, however, was the last time I saw him. His box was there but no Gnome when I got home on 2 November. Now you might think that's odd enough. I mean, it's not as if he were one of those really expensive ones. And he was big, not the sort of thing you could easily stuff on the front seat and drive off with. So, if you see him around - about 3' tall, mostly red with a watering can and a plant pot holder, usual red hat and white whiskers, turned up nose etc - bring him back please. Quite fond of the fellow, and it was me that rescued him from being thrown out from the MK residence in the first place!