Christmas lights - competition winner!

For sheer talent and nerve to erect this Adrian is a deserved winner. The lights not only seem to defy gravity but also nearly defy being photographed as I walked straight into his car in the dark a few minutes ago when trying to get a full frontal view. 

Christmas lights 1

All that was left in the shop was this set of odd dangle things. They had to be plugged in inside and the only place I could find where I could get the cable outside was through an upstairs window so there's a cable running up the roof and looking extremely bizarre. Eminently suitable! 

Christmas lights 2

Not to be outdone by the Midnight Washer. 

Four and twenty blackbirds

. . . on a tree in Graeme's garden (count them if you don't believe me). Now, as (a) that's where we're seeing out 2005 in some style and (b) every single one has since disappeared, it may be advisable to steer clear of the pie. 

A pigeon in a cherry tree

Neither partridge nor pear tree around, but this'll do. Looks like it's looking for a nice clean car to dump on. 

Woolly scarf

That's what was in the present, by the way. Thank you, whoever. 

Midnight washer

Snowed last night. As ever, there is an interesting selection of lights around the village and cars that apparently must be washed, even at midnight??!! Careful examination of the tread marks I left above will reveal that I have managed to resist the urge to fit winter tyres.

And still they come

Two more cards for the gnome. 'Mum and Dad' have now sent two and there are three of one sort and two of another so one person's buying them and sending them out to people to write and post. Have to say that the writing on one stands out remarkably. A wonderful hand, someone I'd definitely like to get to know, assuming that I don't already! Different class to the others altogether. Just found that Gordon the Gnome and friends have been on children's tv for a while this year. Anyone who knows the village would have to agree that all the characters are here! Take a look - not that it helps solve the riddle but it certainly made me smile.

Gnome's getting more cards than me!

Having been returned safely, kept clean, spoken to daily (despite little reponse) and his plants well-watered, I'd tended to assume that the saga was over. That the neighbours were having a good chuckle occasionally but, not having had much of a chance to do more than wave, shivver and dash in or out depending on the time of day, we hadn't had sufficient opportunity to discuss WHO DUNNIT.

Wrong.

In the last few days he's had more cards than I have. And a present! Just to confuse matters Ann from No 4 addressed her card to 'Gnome House' which for a fleeting moment lifted her from No 67 to No 1 in the Chief Suspect charts. She's still in the top ten but subsequent deliveries tend to favour someone else. The cards don't give much away, one's from Grace to Uncle Gordon and the other's from big Brother Graham. Postmarks Milton Keynes and Norwich. Present posted in Hemel Hempstead but using in an envelope originally from University of East Anglia School of Environmental Sciences. For a brief second my previous No 1 suspect appeared to be confirmed when I read Graham but, of course, his parents spelt his name Graeme so that sort of drops his position somewhat.

So it's back to the drawing board. The Hemel and MK links favour Adrian but, unless he's playing a wicked double bluff, the obvious card he admitted to sending and pretty damn convincing maintenance of the "It ain't me, gov, honest!" line do rather rule him out. But I reckon he and Sarah know who did and it's definitely a village thing as he would normally have asked a lot more questions and been more surprised at developments.

I have to bring in a new suspect now. That's Penny & Richard. Now Richard does have a certain gnome-like appearance on a bad day, albeit the hair and beard are the wrong colour. The pair have a good sense of humour and he's good at puzzles which would make him good at, and enjoy, setting something like this for me. If the present turned out to be one of Penny's Productions on the automatic sewing machine then they're banged to rights or I am bang on or whatever the expression is. Richard could well get Environmental Survey stuff in A4 brown envelopes too. He's into Health & Safety theory (not practice as in hourly tyre-checking, though,) in a Big Way.
He's also bound to have contacts in the other odd towns cards have come from and the Norwich one ties in with UEA.

After that, the chart features the lady at No 6, purely on the grounds that I could imagine her handwriting being as naturally bad as that on most cards and using some pretty grotty pens too. Against her being the one is that I simply can't imagine her bothering - although I did give her daughter a rabbit hutch and saved them a few pounds which they might have put to the cause and the children may have helped with the idea. She comes from Liverpool way too. Maybe I'll put her in at No 2. Graeme stays at 3 and Adrian at 5. The lady at No 4's 'Gnome House' has to be considered, after all.

Much as I'd like to open the gnome's present, I have this thing about not opening Christmas presents until Christmas Day so you, like me, will have to wait. Unless, of course, the mail continues to come in!